Corporate Acting Gigs...and Why I Am OK Being Paid in Food

One of the many delightful ways to earn some money as an actor is the ever interesting Corporate Acting Gig. 

Not actually what it's called, I think, but that's just what I decided.

I heard about these things from my friend Raven back in DC when she regaled me with tales of working at training facilities where an actor is hired to play an abused child (because clearly getting a real one would be absolutely NOT okay) in order to have a doctor train how to properly question a patient (this is just one example of the different parts you'd play). There's also jobs out there of the same thread but with law enforcement.

And then there's the odd ball gig. This is what I did about a month ago now. 

My friend's partner does a lot of stuff for events at a big hotel in London and for this particular event he needed to hire some actors. To sit in a hotel room to make it feel more homey....for three hours....while tourist agents came in to have a look.

Yup. Totally a gig. 

Are you jealous yet? Do you totally want to ditch your career and sign up for the bohemian chic actor lifestyle?

Well don't quite yet. We weren't able to get paid in cash for this gig but we were offered to be paid in a free ticket to the party afterwards...with free food and free wine.

So, duh. That's, like, my favourite thing ever...I mean, after money, of course.

This particular event was put on by Thistle at Marble Arch and boy do they know how to throw an event.

My cohorts and me at the after party. Brazil World Cup themed. 

First, the actual job.

I didn't think to take a picture in the hotel room, but I should have. The room we were in was actually really swank and lovely. Me and a fellow actor, Mark, were requested to bring a packed bag to make the situation seem more real. So I brought a few things and hung out barefoot in the room, with the tv on, chatting with Mark about my London food obsessions.

See, if we hang out in real life, guys, that's how riveting my conversation gets. FOOD.

The dessert selection was ON POINT.

The event that was organised involved bringing tourist agents around to see the different room options. A pretty good idea in my opinion. If you're gonna be selling people on this place, you should know what you're selling.

It was pretty hysterical to see the reactions to us being in the room. First the guide would warn people, 'don't mind the actors'. Which confused us as much as it made us laugh. 'Hi, we're the actors, feel free to ignore us!'

Then they stopped doing that and people would walk in and almost always say 'Oops! Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone would be in here. Umm...are you enjoying your stay?' or my favourite 'I hope they're paying you to let us into your room, that was nice of you!' All the tourist agents were delightful people with a great sense of humour for such a unique situation. I do wonder if other hotels have done this. I think it was a great idea.

After we were done, we were invited to take our fill at the party. And boy did we. You really need to be comfortable offering a bunch of students/actors free food and drink. We definitely consumed our pays worth. I basically just camped out at the station with the STEAK and YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS.

Dear Thistle,

Feel free to hire me again if you're paying in Yorkshire Puddings.

Kind regards,
Lindsay

P.S. I'm serious.

They had a mariachi band walking around at drunk o'clock part of the night. Good idea, guys.

The room the party was in was masterfully decked out.

This is my 'HOW FANCY IS THIS BATHROOM?!' photo.

And the best way to end the night....free cupcakes in a carrier box on our way out.

Blue Cupcake. Not sure of flavour, but it was delicious...and blue. 

As a thank you, they also have offered us a free afternoon tea on a day of our choosing with whomever we want to attend.

Guys, it's like they just knew what my heart wanted.

Or my stomach.

xx

**Thistle Hotel in no way asked me to write this post. This was just an interesting experience I had, and enjoyed and didn't mind writing about their fabulousness. All opinions are my own. 

Hot Toddy, Jameson, and the Pathetic Need to Cuddle: A Report

I am writing to you from the trenches. The sick person trenches.

Is this what it's like for normal people without fun lifelong diseases like Crohn's? I mean, normally, I am a tough beast when it comes to my disease (for the most part). I can handle my shit (take from that what you will). But what I'm going through now is ridiculous.

It's not even a real cold. It's like a baby cold. Teeny-tiny sore throat, bit tired, sneezy, grumpy, dopey, and a faucet for a nose. And I fully blame my classmates for this one. Everyone else was passing it around and I was sitting on my high throne, laughing. Thinking 'oh no, not me, I don't get colds. My body is too busy confused about what's going on in the Crohn's Department to pick up on anything else.' Surprise, surprise, that is FALSE, PEOPLE. I just haven't been a student for years and years. And of course, on a devised theatre course, one shares the food one is using to devise theatre. True story.

 Food from a devised theatre class...that we shared. No, Mom, we did not eat off the floor.

That is a lie. I ate the gummies off the floor.

WHATEVER I'm an adult. I DO WHAT I WANT.

Now I have a cold. A sore throat to start, but I just about nixed that in the bud with some British Medicine, AKA 'The Hot Toddy'. Best thing ever. Especially good cause I'm fighting off this weird, extreme need to cuddle. I honestly have no idea where that has come from. When I have Crohn's flare, I'm all like 'step the fuck back, loved ones. I will cut you.' But no, with a cold, I've got snot running down my face in the most attractive manner and I just wanna spoon.

Currently questioning my sanity.

So spooning with a Hot Toddy is working just fine for me, thanks. For the relative recipe I'm using, check out this Guardian article here. I have no cinnamon sticks, sadly. But am making due without. Double whiskey for me in this one and it is just opening my nasal cavities right up! Additionally, I feel a little drunk, so barely noticing the cold. Win! (Totally joking. Please, let's be real...I'm Irish, Scottish, and Brooklynish...we don't do tipsy after a double Jameson, we do 'awake and when do we really start drinking?'

Heating up lemon peel, oddly chopped ginger, and cloves.

1 1/2 tbl lemon juice, nutmeg, 2 tsp honey (not pictured, but giving you great responsibility to use your imagination on that one), and the Irish Holy Water--Jameson.

The finished product. Heaven on my throat. Why, yes, I'll spoon with you.

I almost took a picture of my waste basket overflowing with my magical tissue mountain, but I figured that was just excessive information from the trenches that you just didn't really need. You're welcome.

I'm hoping by Monday I can start singing 'I Will Survive' in my usual dulcet tones.

Until then, I'll be finishing this mini bottle of Jameson to help this mini cold and moping up my gooey snot. Who wants to cuddle?

Cheers,
Lindsay xx

Hardest Part of the Journey...is the Journey...?

I've totally got that wrong. But to surmise, things are haaaaard *insert whiny voice here*. (And yes, I used "surmise" correctly. I just googled it.)

I've had some wine so the actual decibel of my whine has gone down. Look at me, ma, I'm self soothing!

My friends have come to play.

Not self-medicating with wine in this photo...just felt it looked appropriate within the context of the narrative. "WINE!"...kinda how I feel about coffee too.

Things have gotten quite tricky on the grad school front. Which is....awesome. Cause this is just going to make me feel like actually being in grad school is a freaking breeze. Ahh, bless.

Funny thing about loans and visa's and grad school. It's all one big gigantic balancing act. Let me lay it down for ya from the beginning.

-Grad school accepted me, hooray! I'm moving back to my homeland...I mean where my heart is....home is where the heart is, so that kind of makes England my homeland..kind of. I don't know...something like that. But YAY!

-No grad school till I can make the first payment of $6,000. I am poor. Hahahaha. But okay. *Gulp wine. Fortify oneself*

-Apply for loan, loan company says "HELLYES, we'd like to help you along your path to debt. Let us give you money. We just need your school to tell us when."

-School accidentally puts down for the money to be released a month into school....basically making it impossible for me to put down my first payment before I start...which technically means, I ain't going.

-School fixes it right quick when I mention that I can't go if I don't get that loan. Ergo, they don't get awesome American dollars.

-Loan money comes in just a little over 1 week ago to the school.

-I need my CAS (confirmation of acceptance to study) paper from the school now that they have the loan money. I need that CAS paper to be able to apply for my visa. My visa that allows me to be in that country to study for a year.

-I am 10 days away from flying to London and I don't have my CAS. I don't have my visa. I don't have anywhere to live because the housing I found a week ago fell through due to unforeseen conditions.

-Additionally, I feel fat.

-And, I can't run due to plantar faciitis. This makes me want to punch people. Especially running bloggers because they're having so much fun...running...and blogging. Shut it, twinkle toes. Nobody wants to hear about your fabulous running adventures. (No wait, I do. I'm not serious. I love hearing about it. I want to weep in envy!)

I just really felt the need to add those last two on, just cause.

Where's my wine?

So yes, grad school...hard. Not even there yet. And it's getting a little rough having everyone keep asking me "are you so excited?" "Are you, like, totally freaking out?" "I mean, this is like your dream. How pumped are you?"

*Throws wine glass to the floor* (Actually that's just for dramatic effect, cause seriously.....I am poor and we don't waste that shit.)

NO. Currently I am not excited, thrilled, or peeing my pants with glee. I wish I was...all those things...except maybe not the pee. I feel slightly overwhelmed by the fact that I have so much to worry about. And I've officially stopped voicing those worries out loud (aren't you lucky to be reading this! Go on, feel pleased) because, as much as I love everyone who says this to me, if I hear one more person say "oh don't worry, it'll all work out" I will PUNCH you in your delicate bits. Stop poo-pooing my stress okay? I know it's going to work out, because I'm bloody well going to make it work out. At this point, there is no way possible that I will be deterred from going over to London for grad school. (*Knock on wood*)

But when people say this in a "hush now little one" *hypothetical pat on head* kind of way, makes my worry, my fears seem childish and insignificant.

And let me tell you, this chocolate and wine habit I am currently cultivating really demonstrates that my emotions are not insignificant. Either join me in drink, or commiserate and tell me your tale of woe. Otherwise...stfu. I say that politely, with non-aggression, and a slight curtsy.

*End Rant*

In good news...my dog has learned a new game. It's called "I'm Mad At You. Hide the Poo."

Essentially, what happened was...my sister and I went away to DC for a long weekend. We did not go to work on Thursday and Friday because of this long weekend road trip, and ergo, Charlie did not get to go to his favorite place ever--CarRideAndThenToWORK. Since we've taken him to the office every day with us (perk of working for our Dad, holler), and he gets treats constantly from all the delivery people, it's like Disney World for him. So we denied him Disney World for two days.

What he does, in retaliation, is poops in my upstairs living room (I live in a kind of in-law apartment attachment of the house. It keeps me and my parents from killing each other.) But he's not like a normal dog, oh no. He's Catholic Guilt Charlie. He does wrong, and feels HORRENDOUS about it. If he could whip himself, he would. So he eats the poop. Like ya do. He eats the poop cause it was his favorite thing to do as a puppy. He eats the poop out of guilt, but at the same time still does it out of retaliation, like a good Catholic. He likes to watch in glee as we run around the small space trying to figure out where the fuck he pooped.

"Poo? What poo? I no poo. If there no poo, there no problem."

So my living room space smells like poop. My Dad tried cleaning up the suspect spots...but we can't be sure. Cause the damn dog ate the evidence.

YAY. WINE.

I want to add on to this whole shenanigan piece that I have not been working out as much as usual, so that makes me a little bit crazy. Apologies. But you can only blame yourself if you've not been entertained by my narrative, cause you've gone on reading it this far. Well done you.

I've resorted to de-stressing through food. I'm telling you right now, watch out for Amanda over at Rhymes & Ribbons . I've been trying out a few of her recipes and they will wash your cares away in a nice creamy vodka sauce. Pasta alla Vodka and I have been making friends...a lot recently.

That eye is supposed to be bigger than the other. Allergies. Not wine. Seriously. 

Most amazing thing ever. I've had it twice in two weeks.

 I also made the best decision ever of trying her Nutella Stuffed Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies. Regular cookies will never be enough now.

Recipe has been placed on fridge for easy viewing. When you're feeling low, eat your carbs. God said that.

Better than booze in drowning ones sorrows. Oh and look! I now have more cushion....for sitting. Lovely.

Right. I'm off now to find my dignity somewhere. (Well if you read the last post, Getting Physical: Dominating the Swim Category you'll gather that I don't actually have any...it's there. I swear.)

Cheers, and next time, less complaining...but probably the same amount of wine....

Lindsay xx

Grad School Woes

I should be working on my review of Pride & Prejudice to post for my blogger Jane Austen Book Club. But the words just aren't coming.

I think I need more wine.

The blog post ideas have been coming in fast and then get stopped up like a clogged drain when it comes time for me to actually start writing. I blame grad school. I just can't function as I normally would when I have all these future plans up in the air.

Oh yes, grad school is up in the air. This may, or may not, have been the reason I demolished half a bottle of wine and found myself sobbing over the Keira Knightly Pride & Prejudice last Thursday. Not something I normally find myself doing, but ya know. Stress buster right there. Let's all be grateful I didn't eat my emotions by consuming a Domino's Pizza, then spend the next week complaining about my dairy issues, my face looking like I rubbed it in the pizza and...just ew. (PULL yourself together woman. There is NO need for that kind of behavior.)

This is how I feel right now. I wanna curl up in a blanket and hide. With my wine and my shitty pizza and Jane Austen movies. Oh wait...CHECK. Did it.

Funny thing about going to grad school in the UK. You can't just go on a visitor's visa...even though a visitor can be in the UK for up to six months and technically my first term is only two and a half months. I'll be back in the US in time for Christmas. But you can't go over and study on a visitor's visa (and would people please stop suggesting I "just try it"? How 'bout I try smacking you? That'd be more fun than me breaking the law. So stfu. <----look br="" i="" m="" stress="" swearing=""> Here's the deal. I need a student visa to go over, regardless that the school wants me. In order to apply for said visa I only need TWO things. 1-Proof that I can pay for school. Check. I have a letter from my loan company (bless you Sallie Mae) that they sent over right quick when I asked, that says I have the money. Love that that qualifies instead of having to have the money actually in my bank account. Thank you, UK government. No seriously...that does make things easier.

Number 2-I need a CAS-Confirmation of Acceptance to the school. That's not the email the school sent me saying "OMG we totes love you, come join our hippy ways in drama. Let us show you the way to a life of happiness and thriftiness. You won't even miss food. Too expensive, let's improv our emotions instead." (I wish they said that.) A CAS is not the really nice letter and packet they sent my way a few months ago. Loads of lovely, heart-palpitation inducing, information about my new school. Nope.

The school has it's hands on my super official, special, one-of-a-kind CAS letter. And they won't give it to me until I've given them my first payment. A payment of $5,000.

Okay, no worries. That's what my lovely loan is for and I want to pay with the loan. I don't have the money and while my parents may, I'd rather not ask them as I'll need help with cheaper things...like plane tickets, visa fees and maybe, possibly, some lovely apartment decorations and new school clothes. But really just the plane tickets and visa fees. Cause ya know....savings? What savings? I used to work in theatre, as a dog walker, gym desk attendant and waitress. Also I love wine. So, seriously...what savings?

I checked with my loan company, who's being so unbelievably helpful and understanding that it's a little mind blowing. They explained that my loan disbursement dates (the two dates that were chosen for the loan money to be sent to the school and then to me) were set by the school itself. And oh look...the first disbursement date is for October 15th....so that's only a week and a half AFTER my first day of school.

And you can't enter the country to go to school without a visa damnit. (Stress swearing.... #sorrynotsorry)

I emailed the financial director, who chose those dates. First she asked me to call the loan company because she didn't think that changing the dates (or picking the dates) was something she did (then WHO pray tell?!). So I did and the loan company said that she did and she can and no they won't give me a number/email for financial director lady to contact as she should already have that info....because she accepted the loan and chose the dates.

Emailed financial director again. Response: "Oh okay. I'll change those."

.......

That was over a week ago.

I was going to call her today. And boy will she not like that conversation. I get all "super perky, uber helpful, sunshine-y, customer service-y" when I'm pissed about something. Not many people know how to handle that (think over-caffeinated squirrel) and it's gotten me through a lot of bad customer situations. People will bend to my will because nobody knows what to do with all the freaking sunshine and positivity. However, she's lucky cause today is a bank holiday.

Nobody wants to mess with someone this perky. Because she just might be a murderer. I'll admit to nothing.

Ergo...tomorrow I will be calling and explaining to her why I need that loan money last week, in order to get that CAS emailed to me, in order to apply for my visa which could take as long as eight weeks to get approved for and if I don't get that visa before the start of school, then I can't go to school and then I cancel my loan, and oh no...then the school won't get that money. (Run-on sentence FTW! My undergrad English professors will be so happy that I'm using my degree well...and not continuing on in the field, as I'm quite inadequate to do so.)

I'll say all that way nicer. I think.

Here's hoping I can send in for my visa before the end of the week.

Cheers,
Lindsay xx

P.S. So I have a contingency plan if I end up canceling the grad school plan...I'm going to go on a spa bender. Oh yes. I've gotten a massage three times in my life now, and even on this last trip for just reflexology on my hands and feet, they still want me naked. I feel you. I want to be naked too. Did shit just get weird? Have some wine, you'll get over it.

Obligatory "Oh My God, I'm naked underneath this robe!" shot. You must do it.

Half Marathon Training and Diet Adventures

OH LOOK! A cute dog photo that has absolutely nothing to do with this post. Charlie, hard at work. Clearly, me and my sister were hard at work as well, photographing our dog in our new office space. PURPLE WALL---> My idea. 

Oh such exciting times! I'm on a new diet! I'm training for my second half marathon! I'm quietly ignoring my extreme anxiety over my grad school loan and my visa situation! Also, exploring expression through excessive use of exclamation points!

I supposed despite the fact that I am absolutely starving right now, you could say my new diet is going well. And it's only for two weeks thank God. Though, two weeks is a long time for one to go without crusty, delicious bread, salted caramel gelato, and more than one cup of coffee.

Can I introduce you to the FODMAP elimination diet? You really don't want me to. This is not a fun, new, interesting "lose weight now!" kind of diet. This is the kind of diet you really, really don't want to go on. The kind you have to go on because your GI doctor told you it may help and you're seeing him in a months time and you know he's going to ask about it. And if you are one of those diet-loving kind of folk, you are a sick individual if you just want to mess around with this one.

I mean for Christssake, I can't eat onions or APPLES. Or wheat, lactose products, or more than one cup of coffee....WHYGODWHY? Though I totally cheated today and had one and a half cups of coffee. I'm practicing my rebellious nature. Also cheating.

Additionally I thought it'd be so much fun to try no booze for 21 days before my half marathon in Napa on July 21st. Alcohol can be a common irritant of Crohn's and also makes me nice, fat and round. But happy. A happy round. The kind of gal everyone loves and enjoys. Maybe when I'm done I'll be skinny and bitter! Aren't you EXCITED?!

So yes. That's, like, totally my training right there. Eating low carb, gluten free, dairy free, and cutting out a lot of really yummy veg I actually like and enjoy. (No but seriously...if you are someone going on this diet for fun, we can't be friends. WHY would you voluntarily give up garlic and onions? Do you not like life??)

Oh and running. I do get up a few mornings a week and see how far I want to go that day. My main goal for my second half marathon (whaaaaaa? Who am I? So unlike the lovely, squishy, wino sloth you've grown to love and depend on) is to be able to run the whole thing. The last one, that you can read about here, I was able to make it running ten miles then had to resort to the painful walk-run method. When you're pretty new to the running game, and you're in the midst of your very first half marathon and have never tried the walk-run method during training...I really don't recommend busting it out then. Everything just seizes right up and you feel and look like an 80 year trying to walk after years of debilitating arthritis issues.

Course...then again, I am someone with Crohn's...so naturally I am an 80 year old who acts like I'm trying to walk after years of debilitating arthritis issues. Life, eh? SOMUCHFUN. Can I have wine now?

NO. Staying strong.

OH LOOK! That was my mid morning snack yesterday. Perfectly good for my diet. 1 oz of cheddar cheese (no lactose in aged cheddar--THANKGOD), and 1 oz of Nut thin crackers that are dairy and gluten free.

Funnily enough, this snack was totally enough for me yesterday, mid-morning. I think it's because my stomach definitely requires smaller amounts and is generally just a bit of a grouch when it comes to food on one of my running days.

It's still overcoming the shock that I'm actually participating in physical exercise. I've shocked my stomach into stupidity and grumbles of protest.

Today was not a running day for me. So of course, with the lack of calorie burning activities, I am STARVING. Totally makes sense right? I ate a very paleo-happy breakfast...which goes well for the most part with a low FODMAP diet, and should technically keep me satisfied for longer than an hour with all the delicious fatty goodness in it. But it didn't. LIES.

OH LOOK! My Instagrammed photo. Follow my food adventures and obsessive pictures of my dog here:   http://instagram.com/lindsaydinsyday

I just made this recipe up. And it turned out BALLER. I am a cooking genius. Bow before me. Though my photography skills suck.

Recipe:

Pan on stove, melt 1 teaspoon of bacon grease, keep pan on medium heat. Beat two eggs in a bowl, add splash of unsweetened almond milk. Pour eggs into pan, use scissors to cut small bits of chives into pan on the egg mixture.  Add small, washed, torn up pieces of spinach, roughly a handful, to the mixture in pan. Use thin spatula to break up pancake-like consistency and move eggs around a bit in pan. Add a few pinches of Himalayan salt, not cause you need to but cause it's f*ing delicious. Add about 1 oz of smoked salmon torn up a bit with your hands. Lick fingers. No one is watching, it's fine. Toss eggs a few times. Turn off heat and remove pan from burner. Set aside. Toast one piece of Udi's Gluten Free White Bread, butter up with some delicious local butter, and then add egg mixture on top of buttered bread. Sprinkle a bit of lemon juice from an actual lemon on mixture. Real stuff, people, you should try it sometime. Way better than the lemon juice crap kept in a plastic container in the fridge.  Enjoy your meal with that extra cup of coffee you shouldn't be having!

Totally FODMAP free, gluten free, dairy free and super yummy.

Last night I had steak and a sweet potato with melted coconut oil on top. So this diet isn't totally horrible. I just miss my crap food.

It's okay...before I left DC this weekend, I made sure to head over to Pi Pizzeria and got their appetizer of crusty bread, roasted garlic head and butter. SO AMAZING. Ate the whole thing. By myself. Then attempted to plow through a deep dish pepperoni pizza. Only got two slices in before I needed to be rolled out.

Have I ever mentioned that I love food? Could you tell?

Anyways....training. Yes. Love it. Things have been going pretty good. I hit certain miles on certain days where everything just clicks and I am LOVING it. Then other days where I feel positive and good and want to hit a certain mark and it just can't be done. The mind is a funny thing. It really can throw you for a loop sometimes.

With my run tomorrow I'm going to bust out a new runner's toy, a belt that has four water bottles attached for even distribution. I only used one water bottle for my first half and finished it within the first 6 miles and then had to rely on the water stations. Personally, I like to have my water and my fuel strapped to my body in case of emergency.

Just worth mentioning, my favorite fuel for long runs is GU Energy Gel in Vanilla, and it is not okay for my currently FODMAP free diet. So trying to figure out what I want to do in this situation...press on and use it anyways in hopes that it won't matter much on my elimination diet or find something else. I will be done with the elimination phase about a week before my half mary and should be able to use it then, but not sure I want to try something new now at this point in training. Damn. ALSO...why did I never know they do a SALTED CARAMEL gel?!? Mind blown.

So I get to practice that belt out on a few runs before my actual race. Hopefully it's better than actually holding the water bottle in my hand (it has a hand strap with it). But I have come quite accustomed to having that bottle strapped to my hand, so we'll see.

If you didn't already know before, I'm doing this run to raise money for Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America. I pledged to raise $4,700 and I'm only about halfway to my goal. I still need to raise about $2,220 before July 10th. I can still raise money after that, but I've committed and signed papers and they will have to take the remainder out of my bank account on the 10th to make sure they have what I've said I would raise. I want it all raised by the 10th, personally. Then I can go into my run with the knowledge of having raised that money...so DONATE today! It's for a fabulous cause that's helped millions of us Crohnnies out there. I really appreciate them for the research they're doing and because, though you may not know it, millions of children and young people are struggling with Crohn's and Colitis right now and the CCFA is THE organization that has loads of resources and support to help those kids out. I was diagnosed when I was 14 (maybe I'll do a post on that topic sometime soon...) and was never aware of the kind of support I could have gotten from CCFA. Wished I could have. They are a major help to me now with support groups and doctor resources online. So ummm, yeah...donate here:

http://www.active.com/donate/napaNATIONAL13/VTLWeldon

My donation page is pretty awesome. Took me ages to figure out how to set it up, even with explicit instructions on how to do so. I kind of suck with computer stuff. If anything, you should donate in amazement that I managed to set up the page at all. And that I'm on my SECOND freaking half marathon.

Shock and awe.

Cheers,
Lindsay

P.S. I'm also doing a 50/50 raffle to raise money, but the drawing for that is on the 4th of July. So not much time left, but check out the event page for fun photos that are sure to make you feel better about your life. You're welcome. https://www.facebook.com/events/292843077528107/

Let the Grad School Mayhem Begin

It's official. I'm going to drama school this fall. (Funding pending, of course.)

Commence the freak out.

Not at all stressing of course. Just...you know....EXTREME hyper excitement, bordering on insanity. Mainly because I should secure my funding and get my first check into the school in about...oh....two weeks. Not at all insane. I'm just going to be drinking excessive amounts of wine tonight. I got this. Not like I'm trying to raise $2,500 more dollars for my half marathon charity run this summer either.

DONATE HERE: Lindsay's Awesome Run Full of Delight and High Expectations

I really should have tried harder to win the lotto. Because everyone knows that is a solid financial decision.

As is wine investment. I may need to take out stock in my favorite wineries. Are they even publicly traded? Do I even have a clue what I just said? No. Pulling stuff out my ass at this point. Just making really good decisions about healthful living and solid financial investments, is the name of my game. Clearly.

More on grad school abroad later...when my brain is working properly.

Cheers,
Lindsay

Blerg Kind of Day

You know, I hate Monday's. I just think they suck and not just cause it's the first day back to work after the weekend.

I've had a flare-up for several of the last few Monday's this summer and it's really pissing me off. I am stuck, canceling evening plans, just so I can sit in my room with a heating pad and starve myself better.

Now normally, I'm a "hungry every two hours" kind of girl. No large meal can fill me to last me longer than two hours. This is something I know and accept about myself. And this is now my indicator of how my stomach is faring.

When things aren't going well, I can go hours and hours sans food. Not because I want to, but because my stomach has decided to stop digesting and it is punishing me for whatever offensive thing I ate...kind of acting like a petulant teenager, that bitch.

Offensive food that she hated today: graham crackers with peanut butter.

So frustrating. It's only a little processed food...but noooooo, Sheila threw a tantrum. (Cause I need to name my stomach at this point.  We agree on nothing therefore she is a separate entity than myself. And a cranky one at that. I'm sunshine and daisy's compared to her.)

I did fine with breakfast, quinoa with dry roasted pecans, blueberries and some agave nectar...so healthy and I actually like it. But true to form, not 45 minutes later I was STARVING. Like "I will bite your arm off if you don't give me some bacon" kind of starving. So I went with some healthy, natural, practically paleo snack that I had with me...homegrown roma tomatoes with olive oil, basil and kosher salt. Amazingly delicious, I am loving it, it's going great. I finish it and then BAM...starving yet again. Barely took the edge off.

Coworker suggested it's because I've recently being trying out this whole exercise thing and it drives your hunger way up. I think it's that, and I've had no meat today. Poor choice lady, poor choice.

So I went for something sugary and tasty, not complicated...graham crackers and peanut butter. Boy-o did it satisfy. Delicious! .......

...20 minutes later I knew I was in trouble. Rejected. My stomach started to puff a bit, groan a bit and then just quit on me. No more food...no more hunger, just a sore stomach and I get to appear like I'm preggers.

OH JOY.

Are you jealous yet?

Now I just need to sip on water, eat nothing for the rest of the night, and rest with the heating pad.

At least I have Dr. Who season 6 on DVD to soothe the cranky in me.

C'mere you sexy thing you. He's no David Tennant, but he shall do for now.

Sincerely,

Cranky McGee

Moody Morning

I'm on a forced "no-overtime" work schedule at the moment, so here I find myself...at 10:45 A.M. sitting at home. Trying with all my might to be productive, but the the fact that I'm in my pajamas for ages and drinking coffee in bed just makes it so. freaking. hard.

I'm feeling particularly moody this morning as well. With a dash of sadness. If you needed to picture it, imagine a Victorian lady laying over her chaise lounge with an arm over her eyes saying "totally fine. completely fine. I love life." in between small bursts of over dramatic tears. Now I'm no Victorian lady, but I do have a chaise lounge in my room. What? I rock like that. (And it totally came with the room I'm renting....even my living space has a touch of the dramatic.)

Woke up from a dream this morning that was about two good friends doing something that I secretly fear them doing....which just happens to be getting an apartment together. I won't go into any further details about why that's so horrible, just trust me when I say...BAD. It's just made me feel really sad this morning. In the dream, when the one friend told me, I turned my back on her and knew that I couldn't continue to be her friend. I know that if that happened in real life, I'd react the same way. Which again leaves me feeling sad and unsure of what to do with these emotions.

Stupid emotions. I was hoping that, as an adult, you didn't need to struggle with such silly little things. Well you don't actually, it's more like struggling with the super, big horrible things. But no adults will warn you about that when you're younger.

So...to end this post on a happy note...I'll post what always makes me happy. Food. Good food. The kind you need to take a picture of just so you can look at it again later and go..."ahhhhh, so freaking good" and BAM, now in a happy place. My obsession with food might have something to do with the fact that I have Crohn's and that means I have a tumultuous relationship with it. Oh well....

I present to you a Nutella Latte and a delicious croissant from Pound Coffee on Pennsylvania Ave near Eastern Market, in DC. Pretty awesome...and gotta love their croissant sandwiches:

Completely, and utterly, drool worthy. They do good. Although, if you want to eat the sandwich at the same time as having your coffee, I'd highly recommend ordering the sandwich first, then once you get it ordering coffee. Otherwise, you will finish the coffee before the sandwich is made. Sadly, something that is fairly typical in most coffee shops. Doesn't make their Nutella Latte or their sandwiches any less good though. Score.

Mmmm, damn, now I'm hungry...and I was all planning on running at some point today. Oh goals...silly little things...they just in the way of eating.

XO

Crazy Times

Life is such a crazy mix. I've had such a good time tonight, after opening night of the first play of my season at work. And I'm in a mood of appreciation. Appreciating the friends I have surrounding me, of the creative people I encounter in my work (check out Anthony Cochrane IMMEDIATELY....seriously in love with his music and composing style...and I am now proud owner of two CD's of music from plays he's worked on at my theatre) and just happy about a lot of things (can I just say....went to a GI doctor today and turns out I'm NOT lactose intolerant...just going through a rough digestive patch...someday I WILL eat cheese again :)...

......but at the same time, last week still sits on my shoulders and it's hard to be too comfortable. When I'm alone, I remember "hey, Ben died on Wednesday.....you know, he'd love this play..." and it just tears me up. I've never had anybody close to me die and I don't know how to think, feel or deal with it. But he comes up in my thoughts almost every day, and I've developed a new kind of perspective. One that has me less stressed at work and about certain relationships because, ya know, in the end....the little things don't matter. It's family, friends and the path you pursue that's important.

....And that's your deep, philosophical thought of the morning...you're welcome!

Cheers!

Having Fun Sans Cheese or Ice Cream

So I have just come to terms with the fact that I just might be......lactose intolerant. Oh the horror. Apparently, I consume a hell of a lot of dairy. Or dairy is in just about everything I eat. I'm not sure which it is yet. Will let you know once I discover a world free of bloating and swearing. (Side note: Never ask a woman if she's pregnant. She might be lactose intolerant and making bad choices that day. Things may get violent. This has been your Public Service Announcement brought to you by GoFuckYourselfCheeseEaters.)

One thing I do know, the day I thought I came to terms with lactose intolerance is the day God decided to fuck with me. Ben & Jerry's came to my work to give away free ice cream. Sonofabitch. For a second there, I thought they might be stalking me. Like maybe they had some kind of honing system where they pick up the lactose challenged individuals on radar .

No seriously. I didn't get the email about free ice cream till after I saw the truck. Sometimes I get paranoid and, of course, the world revolves around me. And of course Ben & Jerry's would stalk me. Duh.

It's times like these that I'm glad I spent the $12.99 on this beauty:

You'd be surprised at how often I need to look at this at work.......wait.....this is me we're talking about. There should be no surprise there, just look at the damn blog address.

My parents love me and tell me I'm special.

In other somewhat related news....I can still have fun sans cheese. And this fun makes me glad to be an adult. Especially when being an adult means going to adult playgrounds. No, not what you're thinking, get your mind out of the gutter....why do my blog readers have such dirty minds?

Adult playground = table taps! Hallelujah! God does love me!

Say hello to Redline. (Say hello to my non-dairy meal of beer!, beef and grilled veg! on a stick! with potatoes!...which I did not eat...they may have fried it in butter.)

Now, don't let the term "gastrolounge" frighten and/or excite you. It is not a place, as I may have previously thought, where you can eat to your tummy's content then stretch out and take a nap. Lounge = nap to me. But c'est la vie. I can pour my own beer and eat at a slight recline in their booth. ALWAYS CHOOSE A BOOTH. Anywhere. If your belly gets too full, you can lean back and it does not appear that you are carrying a food baby. You're welcome for that Lady-Like Tip Of The Day. Also it means I can sit with my feet crossed under me.

This joint is right next to the Chinatown Metro and has happy hour specials. Which make me happy inside. (Side note: I just thought to myself "I'm so happy I could vomit." If you've ever thought this, you too may have Crohn's Disease or IBS. Welcome to the club, your membership card is in the mail and I can tell you where all the best public bathrooms are in DC --or--- that was just an incredible overshare on my part and in fact you just think crazy thoughts like that...in which case, welcome to my blog. Where crazy thoughts occur at random...or when there's wine involved. Or whiskey.) No Mom....I am not drinking and blogging at the same time. One Corona does not count....okay now it's two, but still.

I do believe that's my cue to exit.

Love!

Hours from London

Normally, being only hours from London (I depart DC Sunday night and arrive in London on Monday morning), I would be in a state of over excitement that would require me to be on no drugs. It would normally appear that I was cracked out on caffeine without actually consuming any caffeinated beverages. Unfortunately, I haven't actually gotten a full nights rest in the past week and have been working like a mad woman because I'm suddenly afraid that everything at work will FALL APART in my absence.

Now, clarification. I work in the front-of-house of a prominent DC theatre. If you know theatre hierarchy you will know that I am a low rung on the ladder of the company. However, if something goes wrong, even if it's a super tiny problem, in the front-of-house at the theatre...EVERYONE will comment on it. It's made me extremely anal about things like toilet paper (pun intended) and whether or not we're providing liquid creamer as opposed to powdered creamer at the coffee bar. So the fact that I will be absent and hard to reach for 10 whole days away from my beloved theatre has me in a panic.

I'm trying to mentally prepare myself to not think about work while I'm in London. Of course, my uber awesome and amazing father has provided me with his international blackberry so I can still be connected through email. I've made sure to tell a very small amount of people this information so I'm not constantly working while in London.

Oh God...I'm going to London.

In other news (revolving around London, of course...it's the only reason for this blog people), I am going to be pretty poor while there and I'm excited about it. Saturday I'm going to research cheap eats and things to do around the city. I'm already familiar enough with London to have a partial list in my head of places to re-visit and my fav cheap eats. But I can't wait to blog about it later for your benefit (don't roll your eyes, you. will. love. it. If you don't....dude...go away). I will also be bringing along my Flip camera and will hopefully record some good stuff to re-post later.

SOEXCITED.

That is all.

xx

Is there Life After London?

The answer is no. Absolutely not. I have big plans for my post-London trip and they mainly center around Dr. Who marathon's in my jammies, gorging on all the Cadbury chocolate I'm bringing back with me, and warding off the crying jag's with red wine. Ya know...per usual for my post-London trips.

Also, my roommate and I are getting rid of our cable. I still have my internet/netflix so after I'm back and done obsessing over monologues and grad applications, I have a long list of movies and miniseries to retreat into including: Battlestar Galactica, Downton Abbey, Little Dorrit, Bleak House, Wives & Daughters and the new Sherlock Holmes show.

Isn't life just grand when you're not really living it?

After I come out of my post-London coma...I'll slowly ease back into polite society, hopefully not in my jammies, and start looking for some theatre classes to take and some community theatre auditions to go on to keep myself sane.

Bit sad that I'm still two weeks away from actually going to London and I'm already dealing with the emotional trauma of coming back to the states after the trip.....yes. I should get professional help. But it's okay Dr. Konstantin Frank makes an excellent red that will do just nicely.

xo

Happy Moments

Hey. Hey. Hey. Guess what?

TWO WEEKS till I'm off to London. Iamsoexcitedyouhavenoidea!

I'll have little-to-no money while there, but begging on London street corners just has a classy, 'woman of the world' feel to it, don't ya think? So much nicer than begging in DC. Which usually will result in getting yourself mixed up in a debate where neither party can fully back up what they're saying but both are holding on to the conversation like two starving dogs fighting for scrap meat.

I really have no idea where that just came from.

I'm in a ridiculously good mood tonight. Thursday night I got to see a play. It was Pay-What-You-Can-Preview night over at The Source Theater on 14th Street NW, where Constellation theatre was putting on On the Razzle. It was a great show that made me laugh and boy is that something I need in this economy. And I am so grateful for PWYC preview nights. It's really the only way I'll be able to see shows in the next few months, unless they're free or I'm working for them.

This upcoming Tuesday I might be seeing another PWYC preview for another show. Yeah!

I'm also in a good mood cause I've spent the night in with a glass of red wine (hi there Lindemans Pinot Noir....delish and cheap! I love the friend that suggested this too me...she knows me well) and I've been working on two monologue pieces that I would love to do for some grad school auditions...if I can can wrangle some up while I'm in London. (Tomorrow morning I'll be up early to crack away at the applications...oh joy.)

I have such a weird love of monologue work. Actually just working on a script when you're first introduced to it and trying to make it's acquaintance, is really quite a delight. You play parts over in your head getting a feel for it. It tumbles out your mouth, awkward at first as you learn it's taste and try out it's sound. Over and over. Words start making meaning upon meaning pile up. Pictures play behind your eyes, an achy need to move starts to bubble up, the lips are having all the fun and the body wants to follow through. You move it, shift it, try it one way, add some energy here, here and here. What do I want you to see? What do I understand about this part? Do you see what I'm saying? I'm not me, I'm me. Hello, welcome.

Aaaaaand theatre geek moment done. I'm starving. I think it's Cheerios time. Mmmm, cheerios. A cereal that goes with any wine really. Trust me on this, I'm an expert on wine/cereal pairings.

Hugs and Kisses.

PMS looks good on me...

Ahhhh PMS, isn't it just lovely? I used to hate PMS but now I have fully come to appreciate it's benefits.

For example. I'm not sure if you knew, but my apartment is nicknamed "The Igloo" for a reason. It's a basement apartment and stays chill like an icebox year round. Good for summer, real bad for winter. It costs a fortune to heat ($200 last month cause I thought maybe I'd try...boy did The Igloo sure teach me...), so we just don't bother. I'm currently wearing a delightfully, sexy ensemble that consists of sweat pants, LL Bean knit socks with kickass leather bottoms, long sleeve tee with a sweatshirt and a nice fluffy scarf that I have wrapped around my head. Which of course I can't wear to bed, cause that'd just look silly, so I shall replace it with a ski cap before I go to sleep. Elegant and refined, I know.

Exhibit A: Too Hot to Handle Right Now, or Screw You Pepco, I Can Generate My Own Heat

But this is where the benefits of PMS come in handy.

I eat like food is going out of style when PMS hits and at the rate I'm going this week, I will have amassed enough body fat to help me survive a winter, naked, in Russia. Currently, I think my food consumption today alone could feed a third world country....wait, that is not where I wanted to veer this thought process....happythoughts, happythoughts, cute puppies and babies.....mmm, beer.

So yes, today...I won't list my entire food diary here, cause who cares, but my dinner should impress--Coke, double patty burger from 5ive Guys (ketchup only of course, I try to watch my figure...expand....), easy mac on the side, and 2 peanut butter rice krispie bars for dessert(I made a batch yesterday and ate half of it in one sitting, proving.....I AM THE VICTOR). I was slightly satisfied. Then I worked for about 3 hours at the Theatre and was raging hungry afterwards. Late seating the jerks who show up to a play late always works up an appetite, don'tcha know. My hunger was to the point that I had thoughts of robbing a Domino's or begging on the corner for some Chinese food and a bottle of red wine. Although, I'm not really supposed to be eating out at all in order to save money...but the 5ive Guys burger does not count cause I needed meat and that's just not something that is safe for me to cook without adult supervision.

Now that I'm home, I've given myself full approval to chow down, bulk up, go for the gold. Bikini season is way off...and I never liked those anyways, so who cares? Eat! Eat your heart out and love it!

Except I got nothing here. Haven't gone shopping. Can't until I can hopefully beg $30 from the gentle souls who bore me and call me their own. So instead of consuming wholesome, delicious food, like Ben & Jerry's or roasted chicken and mashed potatoes, like I wanted, I had instead 2 bowls of Rice Krispies with vanilla almond milk (no need to add sugar, yum!), and have now moved on to popcorn, my brother's homemade beer and, apparently, run-on sentences. (Glad to see my English degree is being put to good use. Use me as a model kids, plagiarize away, I dare ya.)

And guess who's going to England during the next PMS storm front? Oh that'd be me. Hello fish 'n chips, Yorkshire puddings, Strongbows by the multiple pint, Cadbury chocolate made in the mother land, bangers 'n mash, blood pudding, Chicken Kiev's made at Sainsbury's (don't ask, I just loooooove them), cream custard, high tea, PG tips with...wait for it....WHOLE MILK. Heaven save me. Please allow Virgin Atlantic to board me home again once I've gained 500lbs.

The end.

Now I must go and see how strawberry Popsicles taste dipped in peanut butter and rolled in oats......

....kidding......

kinda. Can't say the thought didn't cross my mind to actually try it.

xx.

Poor Me...Fun Me

Dear Friends in the DC/VA/MD area:

Hi. I like you. I think you're cool and fun and really enjoy hanging out with you on multiple occasions. I would like to continue to hang out with you on multiple occasions. Here's the sitch however....I am poor. I mean like super poor. I haven't blogged about it yet, but if you're friends with me on Facebook you already know, at the end of February I'm going to London for 9 days (I'MSOEXCITEDYOUHAVENOIDEA). I don't know if this will come as a surprise to those who know me but....I can't actually afford to go to London. But per usual, I toss all thoughts of what I can and can't do when poor out the window. I'm already in debt, but damnit, my soul needs some England, so c'est la vie.

What does this mean for you dear friends? Other than you having to put up with me gushing constantly about my trip, that is. Well, I can afford to do absolutely nothing with you. This is unacceptable in my book. So I propose a Poor Me plan. Starting Tuesday (after one of my good friends birthday dinner at Circa in Dupont on Monday night) I will not be spending any money on eating out. I will not even spend a dime on coffee at my favorite coffee shop or purchase a small, cheap snack at my favorite little French cafe on the Hill. My money will be saved for the immense amount of delicious, amazing, calorie saturated, British food I'll be consuming every hour I'm in London (definitely not joking here my friends).

So in order to not slip into my unavoidable destiny of spinsterhood before it's time, I propose dinner parties. On the nights when I'm not working a show...which starts this Tuesday night. I fully expect several of you to accept my dinner invites for the cheap, but I'm sure delicious, concoctions I shall cook up in my kitchen. Come, join me for a meal. And if you care to reciprocate, I make an excellent dinner guest.

For nights that I just can't avoid going to the bar man-hunting with my favorite dynamic duo, Callie & Mills (and why on earth would I want to avoid that? Not because I'm tired and want to go to bed early....oh no...never again, I swear ladies. Girl Scouts honor), I shall be purchasing only one of the poor man's favorite brew, PBR. Mmmm, delicious. I hear if you add a lime, it tastes just like Corona.

Other Poor Me ideas for frivolity and fun, long walks with one of my favorite bloggers and her pup, beer pong tournaments at my house (you provide the beer, I've got the table and a winning attitude), movie nights (10th Kingdom anyone? It'd be an adventure that spans over several nights!), tourist walks around DC, visits to many of our free museums, and I have half a bottle of Tequila sitting in front of me...so let's plan something around that shall we? ;) (Mom, I'm kidding....kind of...)

Any other free ideas you want to throw at, feel free. I'm good, cheap fun....errr....I mean I'm up for good, cheap fun.

Best regards,

Lindsay