Taking A Stand

Dear, Innocent Readers.

I want to talk to you today about a very serious issue that is affecting millions of pet owners around the world. It's an issue nobody wants to talk about but so many people suffer from relentlessly. Day after day. In silence.

It's time to break that silence and take a stand.

I don't want you to be scared. Hold my hand, grab a glass of libation, sit down. Is your door shut? Make sure your pets aren't near you when you read this, as this topic contains sensitive information.

I want to talk to you today about Pet Abuse.

Are you letting your pet abuse you? Is your dog constantly nudging your hand or doing the crafty and deceitful "puppy eyes" near the treat box? How many times have you woken up to find bruises and a cat in your face? Or walked by the closet where the cat food is kept and been slapped by a kitty paw and made to feel like you are a bad mommy?

Enough is enough. We need to stop letting our pet's abuse us. Who's boss around here? If it's your pet. I understand your pain.

Does your dog sit in the front seat of the car and pretend like he doesn't hear you when you want him to get into the back so you too can ride to work with your sister? I know your troubles.

Does your cat lay on the ground meowing like he's been beaten and starved, embarrassing you in front of guests in order to get his third meal of the day....when he's really just a little bit too heavy and should only be feed twice a day?

Stop. Drop. Collaborate and listen. (I'm sorry, I had to put that in.)

"Your face offends me. Now go get me whipped cream, bitch."

There are people you can reach out to for support. Humans that know what you're going through in this tough time. Places you can go to get away from the demands of overfed cats and dogs that have a serious snuggle addiction. Has your dog peed a little because he was too comfy snuggling with you to let you know he needed to go out? TAKE A STAND MAN. Pee-pee is for outside! Don't be a slave to their addictions.

"Just wait human. I will hunt you while you sleep. You will wake battered and bruised and you will know it was me. The mouse I left you outside was a warning of your fate. Prepare for battle."

When you're feeling scared and alone and feel as though Mr. Kitty Face is going to come looking for you in between meal times, just know that you are not alone. Many of us suffer at the hands of our pets.

"I want you to know...you're just a pillow to me. Now move so I can get comfy."

You ARE a person, not just a pillow to prop them up to better see the tv. You ARE allowed to sit on that couch despite the fact that your German Shepard thinks that it's all for him since he fits the entire thing. You must know that occasionally, they too can lay on the floor. Stop viewing your living room from the ground. They're not really watching that tv anyways. RECLAIM your couch spot.

"Mine."

"Did you know? The cat is hunting you while you sleep. I'm showing him where your room is. Prepare for battle."

In great times of need, remember that you can dress them up in whatever you want for your revenge and a good giggle. Keep in mind though...that's not what Jesus would do. And it may backfire on you when they make your clothes look better than if they were on you and then you may start reconsidering body hair as an overall look.

"Well...you looked kinda fat in this. Clearly, I win. I may be a gentleman...but I'm a gentleman with better boobs than you."

If neighbours start to see your pets with pants on more than you, it's time to get help my friends.

Tell that dog to sit, stay, and then you run to get help.

"Stop moving. Damnit a moving tissue was not what I asked for...now hold still while I place my snot here."

And if it's the cat causing trouble, you are screwed my friend...that bitch ain't changing.

Cheers,
Lindsay xx

Forward, Ho!

April is the month when all the best things are happening....we'll turn a blind eye to the shit weather for now and pretend it's not happening. Stupid snow.

On Thursday I leave in the morning and head on my way to Charleston, SC for the 10k Bridge Run. I am so pumped about it! I'll be running it with one of my best friends from college, Dani, and the weather is going to be fabulously warm. Charleston has definitely risen in my esteem over the years and is quickly becoming one of my favorite places. Well...it helps that Dani and her husband are there, but still, very awesome city.

Even though I've already done a half marathon as my first run, I'm still a bit nervous for this run. My runs lately have been a bit laborious....I blame the weather and the dreadmill workouts, ick. And I have done little-to-no incline workouts. So running up a very high bridge will be interesting. We're already planning on walking it. Way to go positivity. I am positive it will be annoyingly difficult to run up it, so we will walk.

This will also be my first run that I set out to run alongside someone else. Caitlin and I for the half marathon knew we were just going to go, go, go and not pay much mind to running together as long as we *survived*. Well we did survive, hooray! And now I get to see if I can manage a better time for this 10k than my 10k time during the half...which was 1 hour and 15 minutes. But even if I don't PR, that's okay as that's not what I'm setting out to do. I'm setting out to do it along side my best friend and have a good time.  I hear there's beer afterwards. SOEXCITED!

Once I get back on Monday, I'll only have one week before I'm getting back on a plane and heading to LONDON. Yes, from now on I will be saying it like that...LONDON. I am so excited. I've already started my jet lag preparation  I got up at 4am this morning....and it KILLED, just so you know (and funnily enough, I'll probably still be late to work this morning...sucking at life, that's me!) Next week, I'll aim to wake up at 2am in hopes that I won't be a zombie the first few days in LONDON. Starting on that Thursday, I'll have to be peppy as I'll be starting in on my three day workshop/audition for a grad school. 

Nerves and excitement to the point of vomiting.

I don't want to talk about it.

I'm hoping to do a few reminiscent posts over the next two weeks about my trip to London last year. But we'll see if that happens...I've been running around a lot lately with trying to get applications and UK border visa stuff appeased. Also there's been much crying with my hands deep in failed pastry dough attempts.

Idon'twanttotalkaboutit. 

Stupid fucking pastry dough.

No matter. Hopefully more shit will get done in these next two weeks than it usually does...(she says with hesitant positivity). 

In a completely, random and unrelated to anything I've been talking about here note....I've finally discovered one surefire thing that causes me stomach pain. Hallelujah! Vitamin C with rose hips. And it's the rose hips that does it, as I've definitely taken plenty of vitamin C before with no problems. It's super exciting discovering stuff like that as my stomach/my Crohn's can be so mysterious about what it hates. Can digest dairy, hurrah! but not in a 5 cheese egg pie, with a side of chocolate milk, boo. Can have salsa, yay!, but not anything else that borders on spicy (keep away the hot wings and the Thai food...it burns). So little steps like discovering, for sure, that rose hips makes my belly ache are like discovering there's alien life on other planets.

Well...maybe not that monumental...but ya know, whatever.

Okay.....carry about your day now. Now that you have that knowledge thrown at you. Boom. You're welcome.

Lindsay xxxx

P.S. Blogging is a physical sport in my house...trying to balance the laptop on one hand and deal with the dog that needsattentionrightnowwhydon'tyoulovemepetmeplease!!! Evidence:

Blogging with Charlie. He needs his morning snuggle time. 

I am not lying. He acts like he's dying for *the rest of the day* if we don't give him morning cuddle time. We created this monster and now we must pay. 

Pictures from Home

Just a few pictures from the weekend so far:

As soon as I got home from the 6 hour drive from DC on Wednesday night, this is what I was greeted with....

Salmon Run Riesling and their Chardonnay Riesling...nobody does better Riesling than the Finger Lake Region. NOBODY. Not even Germany.

While I was enjoying the wine with my parents, it soon became apparent that the crazies felt comfortable coming out of the wood work and making their appearance. Or as I like to call it...stalking.

This is Maurice. He is my sister's cat. He wants whatever you are consuming. Even if it's wine. Especially if it's wine. This is definitely a wine household. And more proof of that....

Having some red wine at my favorite Irish Pub in alllllll of New York State. O'Lacy's Irish Pub in Batavia, NY. I love them so much I threw caution to the wind and ate dairy. Because you can't go to O'Lacy's and not have their honey mustard chip dip. Oh and there is definitely dairy in that. But I was already kind of drunk off of two glasses (ahem, I mean goblets) of red wine, so the impending doom surrounding my ill fated choices was no match for my appetite. I had their beef stew for my dinner and it was sooooooo creamy, so delicious, I could only eat a few bites of it. (Then again that may be because I had started the meal with dairy and the bloat may have set in...though again, I was kind of tipsy at that point so it didn't matter much :P)

Today I'm just chillaxin' with the mountain dogs. Oh you haven't heard of them, have you? Yes we have wanna-be mountain dogs in the house. They practice climbing and protecting their castle on an hourly basis....

Outside of screeching at them to get down, I've got nothing planned but relaxing....oh and visiting the best wine shop ever and stocking up. And drinking apple cider made by local farms. And reading. It's good to be home. Now I need to go distract my mother, who is sorely disappointed that there is no police blotter in this weeks Pennysaver....she reads it every week so she regal me with stories later about which one of my high school classes mates has been arrested and what stupid thing they did to get themselves incarcerated.

Ahhh home. Not much changes.

xx

Dear Coffee, I love you.

Had my first cup of coffee in what feels like forever but is more like only a few days, maybe a week, and I am feeling goooood. Caffeine is definitely my drug of choice. I really should just go out and buy a coffee maker, but I am far too lazy and I love going into Cowgirl Creamery and sitting in the window seat with a cup of their coffee...which is just like crack. Seriously.

I haven't had much motivation to do anything productive in the new year, which may have something to do with the fact that I spent up my allotment of motivation on moving from one apartment to another on New Year's Eve. That was enough change for me, I didn't need to start any new resolutions on New Year's day. Right now I'm waiting till I recover from the move before I jump into my brand new, shiny habits, that I look forward to breaking in 2 months, per tradition. Yeah for New Year's resolutions!

Now that all my crap is moved I'll need all the coffee my stomach can bear to get pumped about unpacking and getting organized. You'd be surprised at what I get done when I have a To-Do list to avoid. I've spent hours watching crap tv (just got cable for the first time in MONTHS, oh dear god. good bye social life.), watching random short videos online (hello internet!), googling all the celebrity gossip I've missed out on by not having cable (good bye brain. it was nice having you for awhile.), and trying to dig up all the information on old high school friends who have made recent trips to the slammer.

Someone save me from myself, like, now.

All these lovely avoidance tactics have also helped me run from the fact that I need to find a third job. Ah yes. The joys of paying a rent I can't really afford. I'm too stubborn to get a real nine-to-five job, I love my two part-time jobs way too much. They are just too much fun to give up. When else in life am I going to say that someone pays me to play with puppies and theatre geeks? Never. While I'm in D.C. I am sticking with the dog-walking and theatre house management. Now I just need one more job to add like 15-20 hours onto my week, because as you may have noticed from the paragraph above, I have too much time on my hands. And too much time somehow equates to getting nothing done. I'm not sure how it works out like that, but it does. The busier I am means the more I get focused and in charge of getting shit done.

So as of right now, I'm signed up to help out at a bookstore of one of the big time university's in the D.C. area. It will hopefully work out quite perfectly because I'm only needed till the semester starts around January 19th. That will give me time to find some other third job to take on, when this assignment is done, that will be fun and flexible with the hours I keep at my other two jobs.

Also a goal: figuring out how to get involved in something creative before I go insane. It's been far too long since I've actually performed in any theatre or written anything (at least since my abysmal attempt at National Novel Writing Month in November). My natural reaction to not doing anything creative/dramatic is to create drama in my daily life. It's not something I purposely do, but just a reflex that occurs when I don't have a way of channeling my dramatic tendencies.

What can I say? I'm a Leo through and through.

xxLindsay

P.S. Just watched "(500) Days of Summer". Heartbreakingly awesome. I love the format in which they chose to tell the story. Go rent it, right now.

D.C. LOVES the Cold Rainy Days

Today is yet another cold, rainy, gross weather day in D.C.

Personally, I love these kinds of days. They're reminiscent of my time in London, of cups of tea and a good book, long naps, and cuddling under blankets watching a movie. But not in D.C. Oh no! In D.C. I walk dogs for a living. Some dogs, in case you didn't know, DO NOT like the rain, at all. My main goal as a dog walker is getting the wee little ones to pee. Sure exercise is important but it's peeing that they have to do or I can't leave. So when it's raining and I have to walk a Yorkie that abhors the rain and will not even go near the front door, this makes my day very difficult.

Granted, my worst day as a dog walker is 100 times better than my best day as a receptionist. I rather like it that my main frustration is the bowel habits of a small, cuddly animal instead of the idiocy of the general public.

Well, I'll just have to make a large, steaming cup of Dark Chocolate Cocoa with a candy cane as a stirrer and crank some Christmas tunes...because sugar and obnoxiously peppy holiday music always helps. I think I was brainwashed that way. ;)

I'll leave you with a picture from back home in Western New York where the weather really is frightful, but I'd be singing "Let It Snow!" just so I wouldn't have to deal with this D.C. wet, winter weather.

Saturdays are supposed to be lazy days.

I feel like doing absolutely nothing today. Well...actually I'd love to just fool around on my blog and update with something really creative/random/funny in an awkward way...but then I'd feel guilty about the fact that my room is growing it's own species out of the hair that's collected on my floor and I have dust bunnies so big that my dogs are afraid to go in the room because they don't want to be eaten.

Also exercise is imperative...since I got laid off a few weeks ago (oh yes. and that was so fun.) I have rediscovered the trashy delight that is reality television. I'm surprised at how easily I get sucked into all the new reality shows that are playing now, I thought I held myself to a higher standard than that. But oh how watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey makes me feel better about myself. I started watching Southern Belles on the Soap channel but after a few episodes I couldn't degrade myself any further. That show is just not, in any sense of the word, entertainment. I really should be ashamed of myself for that one.

Kathy Griffin's show: My Life on the D-List, however, I think I can feel good about watching that one. Yes it is another reality show, but I think she puts a lot of effort into making it more entertaining than that. If you think about it...and I do realize that it's summer time now so don't think too hard, she has to put a lot of creative effort into making up the story lines and finding random things to put herself through in order to keep you watching. I mean, she did win two Emmy's for the show. That means it's okay for me to watch it, right? Right?

Okay well, whatever. I'll break up with reality tv someday...soon I hope...I'd really like my soul back now. Oh wait, I forgot, my soul was taken by the part time retail work I do. I need to break up with that, like yesterday. Hey, anyone know any good places to do a paid theatre internship/apprenticeship? Preferably outside of the Western New York area? No? Okay...then I guess I'll just leave you with a super cute photo of two of my dogs doing what I want to do today but can't.

The end. xx