Random Acts of Drama: Getting Physical: Dominating the Swim Category

I hear swimming is great exercise. I follow a few bloggers that go into great details about their tri's and their Ironman's and I feel sparks of jealous. Yes. I would like to do a tri someday. That sounds like good fun, running and biking and swimming. Yes! I like all those things. (Says the girl that just had a weekend of marathon viewing Pride & Prejudice and Doctor Who. Also...I've eaten my weight in food. MARATHONING. I mean it in every way possible.)

So one must begin somewhere. I do a bit of the running now and again. Though recently have been plagued by plantar fasciitis in both heels and I'm still trying to figure out how to get rid of it without seeing a doctor and without giving up running.

Maybe focus on another exercise for now.

Biking is going pretty well already. Completed a 30K bike race with my family, not to brag or anything. And by "completed" I mean, I barely survived. Pro tip: don't bring a mountain bike to a road race, kids. It means you get your own security detail because you will be the very last rider on the road. By the very end, everyone had been waiting for me for quite some time and I had just about reached delirium...that fun part of over exerting oneself when all you can do it put your fist in the air and incoherently sing "Eye of the Tiger". Or was it "We Are The Champions"? It was probably a rousing rendition of both. I'm just happy I didn't vomit on myself.

Just need a moment. To remind myself never to ride a mountain bike at a road race again. Or do anything my family says will be fun. LIARS.

So biking. Win. Done. Got it.

On to the swimming portion. I got some good workouts via email from my old ADPi sister Sarah, who's an awesome swimmer and avid sports woman. She does many things that make me very much regret sitting on my ass all weekend. Sarah recommended getting a swim cap and goggles for my new adventure. Swim cap would keep my hair out of my face so I could see while I swam. Originally I thought braids of some kind would do that but I like this idea of getting a swim cap. Surly I will look impressive and fierce at the gym pool. People will part like the red sea when I get into the water because they know....swim cap means business. Swim cap means I'll be slicing through water like a great shark.

Well people will surely be parting like the red sea. Guarantee it once they get a look at me!

See the thing is, I've always known my head to be....somewhat on the extra large scale. It's not just that I have a lot of hair, but my head itself really is...massive. In order to buy a Boston Red Sox fitted cap one time, both my Dad and I had to get Men's Extra Large. Turns out my Dad and I have the same head size. No lady cap will do on my noggin, no sir.

But why would I think that would interfere with swim cap shopping? It's stretchy right? Made for all sizes?

Well, while the box does say "adult"...I don't think swim caps were quite made for me.

Please...enjoy my trials:

To begin...place hands inside cap and interlock fingers. Be sure not to use any sharp objects such as finger nails or hairpins.

Okay....got it.

Stretch it. Stretch it good.

Now one must pull over head to secure in place.

Almost made it. But I feel like I've forgotten something within these ridiculously easy steps.

Oh that's right....I've forgotten about my hair.

Eh, voila. I am swim champion.

So I go back and put my hair into a bun with one hand and try and use the other to put the cap on. It worked okay....

Ummmm....

Did I do it okay? Do I look alright? Would Michael Phelps take me out for a coffee later to swap pro tips?

Yes. Yes he would. (I do believe you can cut off enough blood flow to your head to cause that delirium I was talking about earlier. It's kind of like drugs. And don't do drugs kids.)