I've been struggling a bit with the fact that I am a 'people-pleaser'. Yup, this is a bad thing. I've been told that word for word. "Lindsay you are a people-pleaser and that is a bad thing." See? Word for word. And as soon as that was spoken out loud I realized that's exactly what gives me a vast majority of my stress on a daily basis. I make a lot of decisions, even very important, life-changing decisions, based on the fact that it will make a lot of other people happy...totally disregarding my happiness. I get very upset when I think a decision I'm making will make someone unhappy.
I can't fully point the finger at others because this is something I created in myself and I'm not quite sure how I got here. But how I got here is really not what I need to focus on. I'm working towards being more positive and retraining myself to see whats best for me and how to get it with clear visualization.....
....and don't I just sound like a self-help book. Ummm, that's because I am totally reading a self-help book and it's AWESOME. Don't be a hater. Leave me to my happy place. I am a total closet-self-help junky. LOVE. Maybe it's because I'm very pessimistic a lot of the time, but it does go against my innate nature. I'm drawn to books with positive words that tell tales of having control over your own life and doing great things...this book has all that and it doesn't sound like a whole lot of crap you want to roll your eyes at. It's called The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. I've been getting up early and reading bits of it before I start my day, finding that it helps put a spring in my step and makes me feel like I can handle just about anything. Of course, usually by the end of the day I curl up in a ball and cry "uncle" to the headlock Life has me in...but baby steps...
Other books that I currently have at my bedside that I'm working my way through in the odd hour.... Respect For Acting by Uta Hagen. This practically reads like a self-help book, but it's one for actors. I've underlined a lot of fantastic stuff and I just go straight to my happy place when I read about technique and finding better ways to convey a message through acting. No matter what my day job is, I'll always be an acting nerd.
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanne Clarke is one I've owned since it first appeared over here in the US. Having seen it over the pond in England, I bought it and then just never got around to reading it...the very same thing that happened with almost all 250 books I currently own and have not read...oops...Book Buyers Anonymous anyone?
I've picked it up this second time around because a friend of mine is reading it...she happens to have a blog over here. (She's really kind of awesome, so get on that) I was jealous she was reading it, what with me owning it and all and having never read it, so I decided it was time. So far it's pretty decent. It's very, very thick with very, very small type and extremely detailed with a whole history created for it. An impressive piece of work to be sure. I'll let you know how it goes.
But moral of the story, and there sooooo is one....cause I'm all about the educatin' the masses....books make me happy. These ones are keeping the blues away. They provide that little period of calmness, where I enter through a door and have to leave my shit behind because it just can't carry into the story. A nice little respite from life. You should try it.
And if you have books that keep your blues away...well holla at yo' girl.