02 November 2009

D.C. Parking Enforcement Is Out To Get Me.

The picture you see above it one taken from the public cork board for my building, found down in the lobby by the mailboxes.

The D.C. Parking Enforcement, and specifically Officer Fisher, is out to get me.

I flat out refuse to change my license or my plates. I am a New Yorker damnit and I shall return to the motherland someday. If I don't get into grad school I want to move my ass over to NYC to try my hand there for awhile. I'm a nomad and changing my plates is not part of the nomad way. It costs money, money that is better used for say, oh i don't know, bills! And it says to people "hiya! yes I am staying here for awhile and so is my car." That's really not what I want to say...neither does my car. Betsy is a full on New Yorker herself and would like to stay that way, thankyouverymuch. (Yes I name my car, get over it.)

I think possibly someone in my building may have posted this sign in response to both myself and my roommate, who is sticking to his Washington State license plates as well, and as we're the only ones within a 3 block radius with out-of-state plates, who else would they be directing this to? Though my brother did mention that it could be something someone printed out numerous copies of and posted all around...but I say, highly unlikely Sir! Much easier to believe they're out to get me!

Officer Fisher has been so kind as to post onto my windshield a total of three parking tickets and the last two within the span of a week. And I even use my car for work now, so it's only ever parked there three hours in the morning. Which, of course, is an hour longer than permitted in the zoned parking area, but give me a break!

I've decided to try and outsmart them by parking on the street that runs directly into my street, where there is no zoned parking. It is, however, the exact line that crosses my hood from semi-safe in the daylight to ohmygod-i'm-going-to-be-mugged-at-10a.m.-in-broad-daylight, when you cross that line. So a bit of a gamble. A little Russian roulette never hurt anyone, right?

This morning when I went online to pay one of the parking tickets I was surprised to find that I also happened to have been caught speeding on New York Avenue last week by the annoying cameras and wire trips implanted into the road, and have been issued a $100 speeding ticket in addition to my two $30 parking tickets. Yeah D.C.! The douche bag award is officially yours. You've earned it! Welcome to our nation's capitol, where out-of-state cars are not really tolerated or, what the hell, even allowed, period. And forget about speeding on empty streets...it doesn't matter that you were in a life or death situation that requires you to speed more the 15mph above the speed limit (hey, trying to make it home from a friend's house late at night without falling asleep at the wheel totally qualifies, end of story).

Anyways. Just thought I'd share. Now I'm going to totally make this into a whole, march-on-the-mall-with-picket-signs, kinda issue. What can I say, I'm an activist at heart.

NY-er fo' life.
Word to yo' mama.
L-Dub, queen of the hyphen.

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