18 November 2009

State of Things

(Taken by me while at the D.C. Zoo)

Here's a video of an Orangutan hiding under his blankey...add a bottle of red wine by his side and you'll come to some comprehension of the state of things for me exactly 3 days away from my very first graduate school audition.

My monologues, I'd like to say, are going well. But I'm not going to really say that...because actually they aren't currently going at all, I mean as well as I'd like them to move. They're more in a halting state. This is very frustrating because I am totally in love with my monologues.

One of them is particularly difficult for me because I've never played any kind of character like her...which is why I picked it...and I've got the words down, but I can't quite make the emotions rise up to the surface and show through. The other monologue is so perfectly suited to my personality and I'm very comfortable wearing this character's very refined shoes...but the words won't straighten themselves out. I know them. Oh, how I know them. But it's like a slow train moving up a hill, halting every couple of feet and jerking everyone around that's on board. I'll get halfway through it and then...bam!...blank.

Now just so you understand a bit about me...this is completely how I work. It's sporadic and not at all professional. But when I'm in a show, even as close as a week away from opening, I'm still glancing at the script and halting a bit. It's like I can't fully operate smoothly until I'm actually in the deep end. You can't see how well I swim if I'm only miming it to you, just throw me in already.

Crazy right? (And THIS is why I really should go to grad school...get trained up a bit, mmm?)

I do think I'll perform quite alright. It's just....I'm getting on my own nerves.

And I just ate a humongous chicken fajita bowl from Chipotle, with an extra scoop of rice, and now I'm going to have a burrito baby. Seriously, stick me with string and float me in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. I need to break up with Chipotle soon. It's an abusive relationship and I just keep coming back for more. Which makes me cranky.

So...note to self....no Chipotle on Saturday, as it is the day before my audition. In fact...maybe I'll just stick with cupcakes and coffee....cause I'm sure that'll go well.

Okay, note to Jen, whom I will be staying with in NYC this weekend (yeah!!): do not let me eat too many carbs or horrible things that make me feel bloated.

Excellent. Back to hiding under my blankey. See ya'll when I'm sane...which will be sometime after 1pm on Sunday.


  1. Hey--

    I'll be in NY from tomorrow until Sunday/Tuesday night (still unsure when I'm leaving). If you want to run your monologues by me at all when I'm around or just fancy a chat, that is totes cool.


  2. Yeah, definitely! Maybe we can meet up on Sat for lunch or something. That would be fantastic. If you want, I can just give you a call on Friday night when I get in (9ish...fingers crossed). Sound good?


  3. Is chipotle the new five guys?

    And we will do our best to eat healthy & cheap on Sat! We'll just off set that by having giant cheap beers friday and then cupcakes on sunday :)

  4. and btw - you need to relax and stop worrying!!! Everything will work out for your audition!!

  5. Good luck, Linds! And, break that leg of yours!

    Love, Mom

  6. I'm working Saturday starting at 1PM, but I'm free beforehand. Give me a call when you get a chance.