10 December 2009

Open Letter To The Male Population Of The World

Dear entire male population of the world,

Be bold. I mean more bold than you are. I am very irritated with you all right now. Well, almost all of you. Mainly just the ones that have crushes on me but don't make it very obvious at all and won't make the first move, which just leaves me guessing as to your true intentions and whether or not you actually do like me. You like to send signals like you might like me, but sometimes signals get crossed...or I'm just a bit on the clueless side and not very good at picking up signals. (Is the free coffee a signal???)

Just so you know: I will not make the first move. I will not ask for your number. I am not bold. Especially when it comes to you, cute guys that I like. You make me nervous. I may be bold in all other aspects of my life. I can get on stage in my underwear in front of hundreds of paying theatre patrons and act all crazy and still respect myself in the morning (no, I'm not a stripper, I'm an actress. Yes, there is a difference.)

The little bits of conversation I can produce for you is as good as it's going to get for you and me. You need to step up and take initiative. Yes, I am all about Feminism and having equal rights, but that doesn't do anything for my shyness. So, damnit, step up. Be bold.

Otherwise...I really should just join the nunnery. It might just be easier.

Single In D.C. (Which sucks and produces awful posts like this one )

(Only posting this cause I'm sure it'll make my friend, Jen laugh....yeah for my awkwardness.)


  1. Free coffee=I like you, and I would like to ask you out, but perhaps I am scared that you'll think it's weird that I'm offering you free coffee at all and so I'll just do this to test how you take it and hopefully your acceptance of such a gift will give me enough confidence to know that you would not mind if I did, in fact, ask you to go on a date sometime in the near future.

  2. You are too much! I also like how you have totally overgeneralized half of the world lol. I think its actually only about half of guys, the other half are the ones that go either "aye mamita" or "god bless" when you walk by and then are totally creeped out by them

  3. Lea, I hope that's the case. I don't think I can be ballsy enough to provide more than paltry conversation at this point! I'm afraid if I'm reading it wrong, then I ask him out and he turns me down, it will make my coffee experience a bit sour. And I love that shop.

    Jen, yes that's true. Or the ones that hit on you in the most disgusting way possible and are offended when you're not all about that. I just wish some would be a bit more obvious than others.