10 September 2014

TImberyard: A London Coffee Review, Sexy Edition



Upon entering Timberyard at Seven Dials you are greeted by sugary delights and the smell of coffee. I'm always hesitant when I first enter a coffee shop. Will they have what I need? My eyes flit around the coffee area...where are the cones, the drip or the aeropress? Do they know what a V60 is or will they give me the soul crushing confused stare when I ask?

First things first:
-Do you have filter?
-Yes.
*sigh of relief*

-Do you take card?
-Yes--no minimum either.
Oh stop, you're making me feel funny in my lady pants.

-I'd like a filter.
-Which one? Tanzanian--syrupy and light, or Guatemalan--hints of chocolate.
Talking dirty now, eh? Okay, okay...deep breaths...

-I'll take Guatemalan and one of those hazelnut brownies.
-Great, where are you sitting?
*Pause, look around the small claustrophobic space with no seat empty...lady boner starts to fall....*
-Do you have seating downstairs?
-Yup.
*Excited again*

I descend downstairs. The first things I see is a large, airy space filled with squishy seats. My breath catches. Can it be true? Do my eyes deceive me? Are those.....numerous outlets on every available wall space???




My heartbeat picks up, I sweat a little. I find a seat and plug in my dying phone. My fingers go to slowly check....could they possibly have...maybe...looks like it...I'm panting now...give it to me baby---- free wifi. Oh my god. I look up in prayer, thanks, and ecstasy. Then my eyes catch sight of the holy grail. Bathrooms for customers. Sweet jesus, I've come home.

They bring my tray with coffee, brownie and a wine bottle full of water and I am ready to propose. Timberyard. This is love, not just a one night stand. I am home.

xxLindsay

4 comments:

  1. If the Timberyard was a man, would you marry him? xx

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    1. Yes. Absolutely. And in this case I'm gender neutral. Timberyard may be a lady with brownies that good...'heeeey girl, hey. I want what you are cooking!' would be my pick up line. Class.

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  2. Ohh I love Timberyard, great post. Sorry I didn't get chance to catch up with you today. X

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! Timberyard was definitely mind blowing. And I'm sorry we didn't get to chat either! But that's okay, definitely at the next one x

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