More Cushion for the Pushin'

Dear Girl Scouts of America,

Thank you ever so much for this extra three pounds that I've managed to put on in THREE DAYS due to your awesome cookies. I'm really enjoying the little extra jiggle when I wiggle and punch-dance out my rage. Oh yes, just as in Hot Rod, "I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and painful fall, I realized what has to be done." (Ain't it grand when you can forcefully insert a quote from Andy Samberg into life?)

Also, I would like to call the supposed "accuracy" of doctor's office weight scales into question. I call foul play! I feel at least ten pounds lighter than what it reads. And no, it does not make me feel better to get the reading in kilograms...now you're just making me do math to get the bad news and that is just not nice. These fingers are made to be transportation from plate to mouth...not for embarrassing oneself after using them to count.

In conclusion, dear GSOA, my awesome, amazing, sure-fire way to keep those cookies healthy and not cause weight gain did not work.

I blame you. STOP TEMPTING ME. And now I shall go divide up my 12 boxes into small portions to be doled out after reaching daily fitness goals. 18 pounds will be lost by the end of April...when I have my next appointment. And that is what I want the goddamn doctor's office scale to read. So there.

Love,

Embittered Cookie Eater

Instant Mood Enhancer

Boom. Instant smiles. Except nobody can see them since I'm wearing boots today. But I know they're there and it makes me feel all special. Brought to you by "Any Local Drug Store and for Less than $5".

(Also...have I mentioned before...I think my feet are seriously sexy. For realz yo....who wouldn't want to snuggle with a person that owns feet like this?!)

Moody Morning

I'm on a forced "no-overtime" work schedule at the moment, so here I find myself...at 10:45 A.M. sitting at home. Trying with all my might to be productive, but the the fact that I'm in my pajamas for ages and drinking coffee in bed just makes it so. freaking. hard.

I'm feeling particularly moody this morning as well. With a dash of sadness. If you needed to picture it, imagine a Victorian lady laying over her chaise lounge with an arm over her eyes saying "totally fine. completely fine. I love life." in between small bursts of over dramatic tears. Now I'm no Victorian lady, but I do have a chaise lounge in my room. What? I rock like that. (And it totally came with the room I'm renting....even my living space has a touch of the dramatic.)

Woke up from a dream this morning that was about two good friends doing something that I secretly fear them doing....which just happens to be getting an apartment together. I won't go into any further details about why that's so horrible, just trust me when I say...BAD. It's just made me feel really sad this morning. In the dream, when the one friend told me, I turned my back on her and knew that I couldn't continue to be her friend. I know that if that happened in real life, I'd react the same way. Which again leaves me feeling sad and unsure of what to do with these emotions.

Stupid emotions. I was hoping that, as an adult, you didn't need to struggle with such silly little things. Well you don't actually, it's more like struggling with the super, big horrible things. But no adults will warn you about that when you're younger.

So...to end this post on a happy note...I'll post what always makes me happy. Food. Good food. The kind you need to take a picture of just so you can look at it again later and go..."ahhhhh, so freaking good" and BAM, now in a happy place. My obsession with food might have something to do with the fact that I have Crohn's and that means I have a tumultuous relationship with it. Oh well....

I present to you a Nutella Latte and a delicious croissant from Pound Coffee on Pennsylvania Ave near Eastern Market, in DC. Pretty awesome...and gotta love their croissant sandwiches:

Completely, and utterly, drool worthy. They do good. Although, if you want to eat the sandwich at the same time as having your coffee, I'd highly recommend ordering the sandwich first, then once you get it ordering coffee. Otherwise, you will finish the coffee before the sandwich is made. Sadly, something that is fairly typical in most coffee shops. Doesn't make their Nutella Latte or their sandwiches any less good though. Score.

Mmmm, damn, now I'm hungry...and I was all planning on running at some point today. Oh goals...silly little things...they just in the way of eating.

XO

Single Lady Dinner

I'm starting a new series of posts called "Single Lady Dinner". It's easy, it's delicious, it really doesn't make a whole lotta sense ( and neither does my singleness...I mean come'on, wtf?) With cooking skills like this I am bound to beating men off with a stick...get ready boys...this is what you could have if I was your lady:

Red wine, cheerios with vanilla almond milk, crispy kale chips with lemon and lots of Kosher salt...mmmmm...and don't think this isn't followed by a brownie and some ice cream. What? That's just how I roll.

xo,

Lovely Little Me