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You know, I leave this blog for just a little while, a short time my head is turned, and when I get back everything has freaking changed on me.

Grrr...I'm not good with change....

...Says the girl who's about to go through major life upheaval...yet again.  It's like I get bored after a few years and need to shake things up. Even if that means that I am taking a risk and it might not play out well for me.

Just a smattering of details for you, non-existent readers...I shall nickname you Fred. Makes me feel like I have an invisible friend again. Well, not again, but for the first time. All my invisible friends as a child were real....like a tree....or a bird. Sometimes the local pond was a good buddy too.

What can I say, I was a bit of a weird child. Who needs invisible friends when you can talk to nature, like a crazy person.

So Fred, yes, well...the past year (okay, maybe the past two years) have been a crazy time for me. I was doing well, am doing well, in our great country's capital. I have a super-duper love for the friends I have made here. They have really made my time here fantastic/amazeballs...even though I have never quite warmed up to the actual city.

But for some reason, my health has just taken a nose dive ever since I went full time at my theatre job. You'd think moving from a chaotic schedule of four hours of sleep a night, working many jobs, one of which was waitressing, and living off the most horrendous diet of coffee and ANYTHING SUGAR, to sitting on my ass, doing lots of office work (and still working crazy hours, mind you, Fred) would be a good change. Especially with having those wonderful things called "health benefits". And yes I was able to get a gastroenterologist (almost a year after having the job, sadly) to help me with my health. I went through that weird time period last year where I thought I was lactose intolerant but it just turns out I could digest nothing. Dairy being the hardest thing to digest, that was the first to go.

So I got on some lovely drugs and now I can tolerate some dairy. Some dairy. I don't have the crazy bloat, partial bowel obstruction, problems I used to struggle with last year, but I still have problems every single week that I'm struggling with.

On a super positive note, this decline in health has been a really great wake up call for me. I've searched out some awesome blogs online written by other people who have Crohn's and I can't begin to express how helpful that has been. I don't reach out to them, just peruse their sites and read their tales of struggles and battles won. It really does give me a lot of hope. If they can do it, so can I. And I'm not even that bad off, really, in comparison.

This disease has made me appreciate the greatness of my family and my friends that I surround myself with and, as a really fun side effect, has made me a hot crying mess over every goddamn thing. Get excited.

Come on, you can't tell me that you don't just love having a weepy, non-drunk, friend hug you and say "no, but I really love you man!" And, oh, am I a hugger. I give 'em out like candy. And you're gonna like it.

But to wrap all this up...change. It's gonna happen. To this blog, to my body, to my life. It's gonna be AWESOME. I am sure of it.

Today's a sick day for me, so I am on a super, mega-amazing positivity kick...can you tell? Had a mini-flare up last night after eating a few Hobnobs.....really?! Hobnobs? The most delicious, oaty, chocolatey British biscuit every (outside of Digestives, which I just couldn't find at the time my chocolate craving hit). Ridiculous. I know that my intestines can't be completely done with hobnobs. That's just not fair to life. But I wasn't reading the signs right...my body and I speak different languages so it's hard to tell what she's trying to tell me sometimes.  Like yesterday she must have, at some point, been saying "bitch, there will be no processed shit today. We are closed for business to processed deliciousness that you love."

I had a really creative, light, protein filled breakfast of arugula, spinach, caramelized red onion with bacon pieces that I had left over, and threw a poached egg on top. Let me tell you, it was baller.

But, per usual, I was hungry by the time I got to work. I tried to be all healthy and just snack on cucumbers and peppers but, no surprise, that did not satisfy. So I had one Hobnob...then two....and maybe a third. And felt fine....kind of. I ate a very lovely lunch of baked chicken, grape tomatoes, garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, on penne pasta. Went down fine. Wanted dessert.

Cause who doesn't?

Had maybe three more Hobnobs......that's when my stomach said, enough is enough and shut me down. That usually means she'll start to groan and gurgle and I'll start to feel the oncoming bloat. It didn't really get too bad until later in the evening. But after laying down for awhile and sweating under the miracle that is a heating pad, I felt a bit better. Still called in today as now I've moved into what I call my "recovery period". I need to be able to eat, or not eat, exactly when I want to. I need to be very comfortable, preferably laying down, and not stressing. So there's been a lot of HGTV this morning and a little Pinning on the side (oh, yes, I signed up for Pinterest yesterday and it. is. CRACK....ohhhh look at all the lovely photos. I'm still all about reading the blogs, but this is like candy. Quick and fun.)

But also planning. I swear I've done some planning today...got it all locked up in the old noggin. Swear I'll get acting on this stuff soon.  I hope to be able to go into more details at some point soon. And oh the blogging that I shall be doing. I am PUMPED. I've also been sitting on my ass all morning so it's pretty easy to be pumped.

Kind regards,
Lindsay

Week Recap

Just a few photos to recap my week:

Thursday was the Ides of March and thus "Ides of March-aritas" holiday was created...I love my Shakespearean co-workers. Best idea ever.

Saturday was St Paddy's Day. Ahhh St Patrick's day. One of my favorite holidays...I love all the green, I love that everyone wants to have corned beef and cabbage, and my only compliant are the people that get all hoity-toity about the day saying "no, this really is MY holiday because I really am Irish" to which I respond..."that's so weird, because your Irish accent sounds American. Oh that's right...that's because you are an AMERICAN born in AMERICA..not Ireland." Just keep the day light, ya'll...it's a holiday where everyone is Irish so get over yourself.

On that same note, one of the biggest complaints I always got from my British friends were about how they thought it was so weird that Americans always said "well I'm Irish/Scottish/English" as a way to say that at some point in our genealogical line, some long dead relative was born there...but the British...they don't really do that and find it weird that we do. I chalk it up to the fact that our country was born out of people coming from all over and we want a way of identifying with a country and a culture of people much older than this country we were born in. I'm sure there are many articles out there that put this much more eloquently then I can...

I celebrated the day by starting out with an Irish breakfast..gotta love Irish sausage and some blood pudding. Yum!

There was a glass or two of Guinness later in the day, but then I got to work at a classical music concert and missed the gorgeous day that we were graced with here in DC. On the up side, riding the metro home at midnight was great because everyone had been drinking so much earlier in the day that there was nobody going home that late. It's the little things that make me happy...

And just to end the post on the BEST NOTE EVER.....

Coming soon......

My London vacation starts this week. Two weeks in the country that holds my heart.

So excited.

Cheers!

More Cushion for the Pushin'

Dear Girl Scouts of America,

Thank you ever so much for this extra three pounds that I've managed to put on in THREE DAYS due to your awesome cookies. I'm really enjoying the little extra jiggle when I wiggle and punch-dance out my rage. Oh yes, just as in Hot Rod, "I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and painful fall, I realized what has to be done." (Ain't it grand when you can forcefully insert a quote from Andy Samberg into life?)

Also, I would like to call the supposed "accuracy" of doctor's office weight scales into question. I call foul play! I feel at least ten pounds lighter than what it reads. And no, it does not make me feel better to get the reading in kilograms...now you're just making me do math to get the bad news and that is just not nice. These fingers are made to be transportation from plate to mouth...not for embarrassing oneself after using them to count.

In conclusion, dear GSOA, my awesome, amazing, sure-fire way to keep those cookies healthy and not cause weight gain did not work.

I blame you. STOP TEMPTING ME. And now I shall go divide up my 12 boxes into small portions to be doled out after reaching daily fitness goals. 18 pounds will be lost by the end of April...when I have my next appointment. And that is what I want the goddamn doctor's office scale to read. So there.

Love,

Embittered Cookie Eater

Instant Mood Enhancer

Boom. Instant smiles. Except nobody can see them since I'm wearing boots today. But I know they're there and it makes me feel all special. Brought to you by "Any Local Drug Store and for Less than $5".

(Also...have I mentioned before...I think my feet are seriously sexy. For realz yo....who wouldn't want to snuggle with a person that owns feet like this?!)

Moody Morning

I'm on a forced "no-overtime" work schedule at the moment, so here I find myself...at 10:45 A.M. sitting at home. Trying with all my might to be productive, but the the fact that I'm in my pajamas for ages and drinking coffee in bed just makes it so. freaking. hard.

I'm feeling particularly moody this morning as well. With a dash of sadness. If you needed to picture it, imagine a Victorian lady laying over her chaise lounge with an arm over her eyes saying "totally fine. completely fine. I love life." in between small bursts of over dramatic tears. Now I'm no Victorian lady, but I do have a chaise lounge in my room. What? I rock like that. (And it totally came with the room I'm renting....even my living space has a touch of the dramatic.)

Woke up from a dream this morning that was about two good friends doing something that I secretly fear them doing....which just happens to be getting an apartment together. I won't go into any further details about why that's so horrible, just trust me when I say...BAD. It's just made me feel really sad this morning. In the dream, when the one friend told me, I turned my back on her and knew that I couldn't continue to be her friend. I know that if that happened in real life, I'd react the same way. Which again leaves me feeling sad and unsure of what to do with these emotions.

Stupid emotions. I was hoping that, as an adult, you didn't need to struggle with such silly little things. Well you don't actually, it's more like struggling with the super, big horrible things. But no adults will warn you about that when you're younger.

So...to end this post on a happy note...I'll post what always makes me happy. Food. Good food. The kind you need to take a picture of just so you can look at it again later and go..."ahhhhh, so freaking good" and BAM, now in a happy place. My obsession with food might have something to do with the fact that I have Crohn's and that means I have a tumultuous relationship with it. Oh well....

I present to you a Nutella Latte and a delicious croissant from Pound Coffee on Pennsylvania Ave near Eastern Market, in DC. Pretty awesome...and gotta love their croissant sandwiches:

Completely, and utterly, drool worthy. They do good. Although, if you want to eat the sandwich at the same time as having your coffee, I'd highly recommend ordering the sandwich first, then once you get it ordering coffee. Otherwise, you will finish the coffee before the sandwich is made. Sadly, something that is fairly typical in most coffee shops. Doesn't make their Nutella Latte or their sandwiches any less good though. Score.

Mmmm, damn, now I'm hungry...and I was all planning on running at some point today. Oh goals...silly little things...they just in the way of eating.

XO

Single Lady Dinner

I'm starting a new series of posts called "Single Lady Dinner". It's easy, it's delicious, it really doesn't make a whole lotta sense ( and neither does my singleness...I mean come'on, wtf?) With cooking skills like this I am bound to beating men off with a stick...get ready boys...this is what you could have if I was your lady:

Red wine, cheerios with vanilla almond milk, crispy kale chips with lemon and lots of Kosher salt...mmmmm...and don't think this isn't followed by a brownie and some ice cream. What? That's just how I roll.

xo,

Lovely Little Me

Trip to the ER

Gotta love the fact that I'm not even out of the first month of 2012 and I've already had a trip to the ER. Thank you Crohn's. You're such a fun disease that has helped me learn so much.

For example...I've been happy these many-a single lady years...I'm not too bothered about finding a significant other. But boy-o-boy, does it suck being single when you have to drive your own ass to the ER and then play the waiting game all by your lonesome. Now I can kind of see the benefit of having a better half. And by "better" I clearly mean one with superior driving skills and the ability to entertain during the multi-hour ER waiting room wait game.

After this trip, I learned that I know my body better than anybody else. I knew I didn't need to go, but when one's Momma is concerned then, by damn, oneself better be concerned or there will be hell to pay. I'm on special drugs for my Crohn's, a little bit o' Entocort and a smidge of Azathioprine. Hey there immune suppressant. So when my body makes any kind of peep...my GI team need to freak out cause bad things can happen.

I'm glad I got checked up, but also glad that I learned I do know my body's signs...even when everyone else is scratching their heads saying "well that shouldn't happen..."

I'm just so special that way. You may now commence being jealous.