Books to Keep the Blues Away

I haven't been feeling the greatest lately. Lots of internal, self-inflicted stress that I can't seem to shake. And let me tell you, my body will always physically react to any amount of stress, whether I'm aware I have any or not. Welcome to life with Crohn's.

I've been struggling a bit with the fact that I am a 'people-pleaser'. Yup, this is a bad thing. I've been told that word for word. "Lindsay you are a people-pleaser and that is a bad thing." See? Word for word. And as soon as that was spoken out loud I realized that's exactly what gives me a vast majority of my stress on a daily basis. I make a lot of decisions, even very important, life-changing decisions, based on the fact that it will make a lot of other people happy...totally disregarding my happiness. I get very upset when I think a decision I'm making will make someone unhappy.

I can't fully point the finger at others because this is something I created in myself and I'm not quite sure how I got here. But how I got here is really not what I need to focus on. I'm working towards being more positive and retraining myself to see whats best for me and how to get it with clear visualization.....

....and don't I just sound like a self-help book. Ummm, that's because I am totally reading a self-help book and it's AWESOME. Don't be a hater. Leave me to my happy place. I am a total closet-self-help junky. LOVE. Maybe it's because I'm very pessimistic a lot of the time, but it does go against my innate nature. I'm drawn to books with positive words that tell tales of having control over your own life and doing great things...this book has all that and it doesn't sound like a whole lot of crap you want to roll your eyes at. It's called The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. I've been getting up early and reading bits of it before I start my day, finding that it helps put a spring in my step and makes me feel like I can handle just about anything. Of course, usually by the end of the day I curl up in a ball and cry "uncle" to the headlock Life has me in...but baby steps...

Other books that I currently have at my bedside that I'm working my way through in the odd hour.... Respect For Acting by Uta Hagen. This practically reads like a self-help book, but it's one for actors. I've underlined a lot of fantastic stuff and I just go straight to my happy place when I read about technique and finding better ways to convey a message through acting. No matter what my day job is, I'll always be an acting nerd.

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanne Clarke is one I've owned since it first appeared over here in the US. Having seen it over the pond in England, I bought it and then just never got around to reading it...the very same thing that happened with almost all 250 books I currently own and have not read...oops...Book Buyers Anonymous anyone?

I've picked it up this second time around because a friend of mine is reading it...she happens to have a blog over here. (She's really kind of awesome, so get on that) I was jealous she was reading it, what with me owning it and all and having never read it, so I decided it was time. So far it's pretty decent. It's very, very thick with very, very small type and extremely detailed with a whole history created for it. An impressive piece of work to be sure. I'll let you know how it goes.

But moral of the story, and there sooooo is one....cause I'm all about the educatin' the masses....books make me happy. These ones are keeping the blues away. They provide that little period of calmness, where I enter through a door and have to leave my shit behind because it just can't carry into the story. A nice little respite from life. You should try it.

And if you have books that keep your blues away...well holla at yo' girl.

xx

Open Call

Dear Men:

HI! My name is Lindsay and I. AM. SINGLE. It's official. I am open to dating, so let's get it on. Okay, GO! I am ready for the flirting to commence. I have my stick ready to beat off the masses swarming around me for attention--I promise to be gentle.....

....okay....any time now.....feel free to ask me out....

...ummm, I'm waiting, did I not say GO?!

Seriously now. Do I honestly need to give you an incentive for this already hot package?

.........................................................

Damn. Okay....here ya go.

I am available-Single & ready to mingle.

How can you say no to footie pajamas?

Wait.....don't let this awkward silence come between us.

Ah well, at least my feet are warm and I am beyond awesome.

Nuf' said.

Love, Future Nun Candidate.

Big Girl Pants

Well, it's official...I'm putting on some big girl pants cause I went got me a big girl job. Yes that's right...a real, adult job with Responsibilities and People Depending On Me. It's CRAZY.

I'm officially the head of my department at the theatre where I've been a part-time house manager. Now I've been promoted and am the Head of All the House Managers and A Whole Lotta Volunteers (500+...holy crap...) I have a fancy title and, as opposed to all my stupid/horrible/demeaning part-time gigs I used to have (like waitressing), they expect me to just hit the ground running and aren't really supervising me. Well...they are, but I kind of make up my own to-do lists and just make sure shit gets done, all on my own and then check in with my boss once a week to go over it all. So all-in-all...a pretty freakin' awesome set up.

Majority of my higher-ups are women...which is crazy cause all my former jobs I've worked for men...and I think I was a whole lot smarter than a good percentage of them (which is not good, especially when I am a Grade A, certified ditz). At this job, I have a lot of respect for the higher-ups...they know their shit and they are good at it. My former boss, who's job I've been promoted to, was also the best boss I've ever had, hands down. She knew her shit and everyone else's too. I have very big shoes to fill.

Due to my new full time status, I get to quit my waitressing job, I get awesome pay and some thing called Benefits...which is a new world to me ("wait, wait, waaaait a minute....so you're telling me...I can go see a doctor/dentist/eye doctor and you're going to cover it under this thing called 'Benefits'?!? Fan-freaking-tastic." This also means a new dedication to blogging. I haven't really had much time to commit to writing or reading blogs since I've moved to DC. Mainly due to the fact that I used to work 60-80 hour work weeks with little to no sleep....all for the sake of having a flexible schedule so I could do all the acting that I wasn't actually doing....

Well now I will have a little bit of extra time. I plan on blogging more, reading more, and hello community theatre! You will be my new best friend. I think I will go for shows in the summer, when my theatre is on its break, and while we're in season, I'll be able to afford acting classes. I'm excited. I've got big plans.

Fingers crossed this positivity holds.

(I am super-duper excited about the new job though, even though it restricts any acting I want to do a bit. I get peace of mind with this job...bills will get paid (and my parents are SUPER psyched I have a real job)...and since it's just a promotion, really, I know everyone I work with/for and already have a love for the company in place. I'm not going to blog much about the actual company...or list it's name...though I'm sure you could find it easily with a google search or a look through my past posts. But I'm feeling all protective of my theatre and want to keep my work separate from my fun---which is what this blog is, fun.)

Okay...that is all. Expect more from me soon, dear reader (hi Mom!).

Fondly,

L.

P.S. I got a Flip camera for Christmas! GET EXCITED for vlogs....coming soon ;) And let amateur hour begin....heeheehee

What I do on a day off.

I'm starting to see a trend in my life, with all of it's busyness and stress, I've started in on some habits of leisure during my brief moments of respite:

Last Tuesday night, off from work...

(Ladies Cigar night, what what. We rock...and so does Romeo y Julieta)

Tonight, off from work.....

Though, let it be seen....I was attempting to do a budget tonight and that, of course, requires red wine to fend off the sobbing jags and depressing thoughts (cause seriously, yo? who can be depressed with red wine?). The 'Playing Shakespeare' DVD's were just my reward. Granted, they were rewarded a bit early because I never really finished that stupid budget. I spilled red wine and then needed to drink more red wine to make myself feel better....VICIOUS CYCLE.

Mmmmkay....now it's back to 'Playing Shakespeare'. These DVDs were lent to me from an actress friend, currently in the play I am House Managing for, and I'm in love with them already. The amazingness of them has caused me to burst into my Shakespeare monologues at random times....wait....that may just be due to red wine consumption.

Okay. That is all.

The end.

Apron Strings

I love my Mom. I got a package of this delightfulness the day before Halloween. Even though I'm not living at home, I'm not in college or abroad at the moment, she still sends me holiday candy packages. Which is awesome for other reasons besides the sugar rush and Mom-attention...it's useful cause I eat my emotions like the drama queen I am and having candy on hand at all times only aides that poor decision.

I'm like a crack addict when it comes to sugar.

I'm glad my family can support that...at least they don't send me bottles of wine..............

................although, every time I come home my Dad does buy a case of wine in preparation.

My family is cooler than yours.

I'm just saying...

Dirty

Things I have said, or things that I have overheard, as a house manager at a theatre(I may have to re-do this post several times, just to add new things to it..us FOH peeps need to keep ourselves entertained with the inappropriate):

Co-Worker: Why do you put the cards in the seats that way?

Me: Because it's thicker that way, it's harder to pull out and stays in longer.

Box office to me: The best things come out of your cleavage.

Actor: He was letting everyone know he only wears underwear as a courtesy for the costume...normally it's commando all the time.

Another HM: "You need to bring the conversation down to zero." (This was just funny because it was said to a patron...hours after the house managers and the box office was having a conversation about Captain Planet and the phrase "bringing pollution down to zero".)

Another HM: In reference to picking which duties we would take care of that night--"Lindsay, do you need to pee tonight?"

Box office: "I prefer not to speak to people I don't know sober."

"I Want To Be On You"

Well I have found a little slice of British heaven in my corner of the world. If you haven’t already experienced Eamonn’s Dublin Chipper, then you need to go now. Right now. Do you like life? Well go make it better with freaking, fantastic fish and chips. The first time I tried it, only a week and a half ago, I almost cried right there in the shop onto the incredibly tender cod fish and side of fries coated in a generous amount of malt vinegar, which they keep right there on the table! Like a proper chip shop! And I don’t have to ask for it!! Oh happyhappyjoyjoy!! They also carry British beers, Strongbow and IMPORTED CADBURY. Hi, Eamonn’s, so you will be my reason for excessive weight gain this winter, eh?

I needed to have it again today and have officially decided that I need to dedicate at least 2-3 meals a week to British/Irish food. Whether I be cooking it myself or I be off on a food quest around the city for the perfect Sunday roast and Yorkshire pudding. I will report back here with my findings and hopefully jump back on the blogging bandwagon.

I did have a whole blog saved and ready for posting about why I haven’t been blogging but have decided that it would only bore you to death or make you cry with the over dramatic, teenage angsty-ness that wafts from it, like week old fish left in the fridge too long.

Let me sum it up for you: apologizes, apologizes, nobody reads this anyways, boy, boy, boy, boy like me, boy no like me?, smoke/drink, no more smoke, no exercise, wah-wah-wah, boy, boy, boy, stupid boy, another boy, being single sucks, DC feels like home (!!!Arghhhh, so weird, don’t want to talk about it!!!), no acting=i make my life too melodramatic for me to handle, and this is the point were you stop reading that post in order to pick up an excessive drinking habit that I’ve driven you to, all because my post was too over dramatic to handle and only drinking can make it better.

Now aren’t you thankful we avoided all that and instead you can walk away from this craving greasy, fried, heavenly deliciousness that is fish ‘n chips? You are welcome sir/madame. Now go forth, get fat, try not to be as over dramatic as I am, and occasionally check back here to read the comments section and be amused with what my parents have to say in regards to my posts. I know I will.

Fondly and with best wishes,

Lindsay